Keeper of My Heart
I’m going to be the most vulnerable I can ever be with you.
You are the Keeper of my heart, the Star Breather and the Giver of life. I come before you confused and discouraged, no matter how many times I try to shake it off and do what I know I’ve always known to do – read your word, pray, worship, etc – I don’t know if that’s helping somehow. I feel as if when I take 1 step forward, I’m really taking 100 billion steps back . This race that you have called me to run is tiring and I don’t think I can finish it. So many days I want to just pack my bags and run the opposite direction. This race feels like it only consist of comparisons, insecurities, heartaches, confusion, lies, and failures. A little piece of me – wait, a B I G part of me feels weak…IS weak.I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this. I feel like everyday I carry this spiritual baggage – shame, hurt, lusts, lies, and things that only you know that no one knows.
BUT, just when it seems like and feels like my world is falling apart..you do what Y O U do best. You pick me up, you dust off the dirt and you love me, you forgive me, you tell me I’m worth it, you whisper gently into my heart that you believe in me. You remind me: “I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15
You call me by my name, when the enemy only calls me by my sins.
You rescue me even when I feel comfortable in my tower of shame and guilt. You clothe me in grace, when all I feel is worthless. You open your arms and smile and say “Come Home my beloved” When my cup is dry and empty – you generously fill it with all that you are. You cleanse me of my past and you make me new each and every time. I’ve never felt a love like yours – you love me past my shame, my hurts, my insecurities. You see past that and you breathe into my spirit saying “You are more precious than rubies; nothing compares to you..” Proverbs 3:15
You bring light into the dark places in my heart, spirit and soul. Your love is like a waterfall pouring into my very being. You breathe purpose to every part of my life. You take my baggage and free me from all that is stopping me to fulfill what you have planned for me long ago before I was ever born. You take my anxiety and you give me peace. You take my sadness and you give me unending Joy. Your love is patient and kind, it’s everything I deeply desire to be. You love me with an everlasting love – despite what I’ve ever done or will do.
For the many times I’ve been like the Prodigal son – leaving and running to what I feel whats best, and coming back empty with tears running down my face – feeling not worthy enough. Without question, You open your arms and have a compassion like no one else, you receive me and celebrate with me. You feed me and I no longer thirst.
Daddy, Thank you so much for loving me and most importantly..
Thank you for choosing me.